Opening Day!

(11:00 am PDT - Pregame warmup) Tigers and Royals are the only game going so far. Here are a few early trends I'd like to see continue: Ivan Rodriguez is 0-1 throwing out runners trying to steal, Miguel Cabrera is 0-2 at the plate and 0-1 on throws to first. One I'd like to jinx: Justin Verlander is throwing a perfect game to Royals without excess consonants in their name; Grudzielanek has reached base on an error and a HBP.

(11:13 am) And Billy Butler singles to break up the no-no just three batters after my jinx. Not bad!

(11:21 am) Am I the only one that thinks Jacque Jones and Edgar Renteria will not be upgrades for the Tigers? Jones should never face lefties and wasn't even good against RHPs last year. Today? 0 for 2 with 2 K's against RH Gil Meche. Renteria's defense has been deteriorating and his last tour of duty in the AL was so disastrous the Red Sox dumped him for Alex Gonzalez.

(11:46 am) Then again, will it matter? Verlander has cruised through 5, Cabrera hit his first HR as a Tiger, and 12 Tigers have reached base against Meche so far.

(11:48 am) Rain is delaying the start of the Brewers-Cubs game in Wrigley. I suspect the Indians game will suffer a similar fate.

(12:05 pm) So Gordon deposits a Verlander sinker into the RF seats to bring the Royals within a run. Then Verlander promptly allows the first two batters in the 7th to reach, and Leyland calls for Jason Grilli. Here is where the fun begins - with no Rodney or Zumaya in the pen, can the Tigers build a bridge to Todd Jones?

(12:10 pm) Guess not... John Buck greets Grilli with a run-scoring single.

(12:13 pm) Say it ain't so, Thome! Jim just crushed one into the Davey Tree Pavilion/Heritage Park (at least, that's how I imagine it). Perhaps my favorite Indian ever gives an inauspicious start to the Tribe's season.

(12:31 pm) After two pitching changes, Tiger-killer Mark Grudzielanek (seriously, check his career numbers)singled home the go-ahead run. And Royals stopper(!?!) Brett Tomko induced a DP grounder from Ordonez and blew a fastball by Miguel Cabrera to finish the 7th.

(12:35 pm) Consecutive singles by Victor, Garko and Peralta have loaded the bases for Azzie Cabrera. And even though he hits into the forceout, give credit to him for coaxing 8 pitches out of Buehrle and driving in the run.

(12:40 pm) And Gutey homers onto the porch in left-center! 4-2, Tribe! I would love to see Franklin blossom this year and put to rest all the rumblings about our inadequate corner OFs.

(12:45 pm) Carlos Guillen homers off Tomko and order is restored to the world. No truth to the rumor that the Fed was ready to step in and buy the Tigers some relievers to prevent a total collapse of confidence in the punditry market.

(12:45 pm) Grady homers! Glory be to Grady!

(12:49 pm) Hafner doubles home Michaels and Victor brings Pronk in with a single. Take that, Tigers! (I know we're playing the White Sox, but doesn't it feel like every game this season is really against the Tigers? Is March 31 too early to begin scoreboard-watching?)

(2:31 pm) OK, I should be more careful with my schadenfreude over the Tigers bullpen. Looks like we have some problems of our own, though I have to wonder why Wedgie let Perez face both Konerko and Dye with two runners on. Should have brought in Betancourt then.

(2:36 pm) How about a better stretching program for Victor now that he's suffered leg injuries on two consecutive Opening Days? Hopefully this isn't serious and won't keep him out of the lineup too long.

(2:43 pm) What is this strange, small-sample-size power that Nick Masset has over the Tribe? In 17 IP against Cleveland, he has a 3.18 ERA with 12 Ks and 5 walks. Against everyone else in his career, his numbers are 35.2, 7.32, 17 and 23.

(2:58 pm) Tense moments in Cleveland: Raffy loads the bases, then gets Cabrera to hit into a forceout. He's thrown a lot of pitches, but do you turn to recent pickup (and rookie) Craig Breslow to face Thome? My guess is no.

(3:00 pm) 4-6-3 to get out of the jam. Could we see Kobayashi to start the ninth? Only if the Tribe can't take a lead against Dotel.

(3:12 pm) Casey plates three with a double, and there is joy in Mudville. Meanwhile, Jason Michaels gets a rare AB against a righty. J-Mike thinks he should be an everyday player; a hit here would be a step toward proving it.

(3:18 pm ) Here comes JoeBo in the best possible save situation - up by three and facing a string of right-handed hitters. He gets Konerko to quickly ground out.

(3:23 pm) Classic Borowski. Gives up the HR to Dye, walks Pierzynski to bring up the tying run, then mercifully retire Crede on seven pitches. Tribe wins!

This Should Be Fun!

After spending his entire career in the Senior Circuit, Livan Hernandez is coming to the American League. Hernandez, the wrongful winner of the 1997 World Series MVP (f@*king J**e M**a!), signed a one-year deal with the Minnesota Twins.

Thanks to the miracle of interleague play, Hernandez is no stranger to AL hitters. In over 1100 plate appearances against him, AL hitters have hit .306/.373/.468 - essentially turning each into the 2006-2007 version of Mike Lowell.

A fly-ball pitcher in recent seasons, Hernandez will be helped by the move from hitter-friendly Chase Field to the inaccurately-nicknamed "Homerdome" but he shouldn't expect more help from the Twins outfield defense. Torii Hunter is gone and the Twins have publicly floated the idea of playing Michael Cuddyer in CF this season.

David Dellucci, Jason Michaels and Jamey Carroll are the only current Indians to have faced Hernandez, compiling a .360/.429/.480 line in 28 PA. With 18 games against the Twins this year, the Tribe should have ample opportunity to introduce themselves.

The Two Joes

Joe Borowski earned his AL-leading 40th save Tuesday night in the Indians' 138th game, on pace to tie or break Jose Mesa's club record of 46 saves set in 1995. He's also a virtual lock for a more dubious honor - the worst 40-save season ever.

Prior to this year, Antonio Alfonseca had posted the highest ERA in a 40-save season. El Pulpo gave up 4.24 earnies per nine while saving 45 games for the 2000 Marlins. Barring a sudden bout of unhittability, JoeBo will blow that out of the water.

And yet, Borowski has been strangely effective. His save percentage (87%) compares favorably to elite closers Francisco Rodriguez (87%), Trevor Hoffman (88%) and Mariano Rivera (88%). While 12 of his saves are of the one-inning, ahead-by-three variety, Borowski hasn't exactly been spared from pressure. According to Baseball Prospectus, no AL pitcher with more than 7 relief innings has been used in higher leverage situations than Borowski. But, oh, that ERA! How can one reconcile his historically bad ERA with the fact that Eric Wedge trusts this man in pressure situations? Simple - the Theory of the Two Joes.

Iron Joe Borowski has appeared in 52 games, saving 38 and winning 3 with an ERA of 2.52 in 50 IP. Glass Joe Borowski has appeared in 7 games, saving 2 and losing 3 with an ERA of 31.76 in 5-2/3 IP. Iron Joe has held hitters to a composite line of .237/.287/.317 over 186 AB. Hitters have pummeled Glass Joe to the tune of .575/.578/1.000 in 40 AB.

Borowski's split personality may be due to his unhinged right shoulder. The Indians' playoff fortunes may hinge on whether Borowski can punch out Glass Joe once and for all.

Snyder Move Opens Door to Playoff Roster

The Indians promoted Brad Snyder from Buffalo and promptly placed him on the Major League 15-Day Disabled List. The move opens the door for someone not currently on the Tribe's 25-man roster to make the playoff roster.

Major League rules limit eligibility for the playoffs to players on a team's 25-man roster or Major League DL as of August 31. However, the rules also permit a team to replace an injured player with another player from the team's 40-man roster when compiling the playoff roster.

By promoting and disabling Snyder, Mark Shapiro retains the option of "replacing" him later with demoted lefties Cliff Lee or Jeremy Sowers, or possibly top prospect Adam Miller, who has been working out of the pen recently in Buffalo.

F***ing Yankees

Fucking Yankees, Reports Nation

BOSTON—Moments after the New York Yankees continued a month-long stretch that has seen them climb from the bottom of the AL East to pull within a once unfathomable four games of the first-place Red Sox by defeating the Baltimore Orioles...